"It comes in waves.
There's a lull, and then another wave hits you.
I just wanted you to know that it's okay to not be fine sometimes."
-Grey's Anatomy
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I found something which I think I'll try; and if you guys are interested, go ahead and give it a shot, too. It's a personal choice, really, so I'll leave it up to you; although it'd be interesting if you DID give it a try.

Think of 25 people, and leave them a message. Don't specify which message is directed to who- just keep it anonymous, but do say the things you've always wanted to say to them; but have not been able to- or may never be able to- say.

1. I will not believe what they're saying about you. I know you're deeper than that, greater than that, stronger than that. You have two sides- show them the one that I see.

2. I'm not perfect, but you're more wonderful than you choose to believe.

3. Dear, your mask is cracking.

4. One of my greatest regrets is that I never got to apologize before you died, but it hurts to know that you were hurting so bad and you didn't tell me, you could have told me and I would have made it all better; why did you have to go?
I love you, I miss you, and I hope you're in a better place.

5. Sometimes you get under my skin, but other times I feel you know me so well- it's like you're IN my skin. You know so much about me, although you don't show it. You're amazing, and one day you'll find the love you don't think you need.

6. And occasionally I wonder if you've learnt to love yourself.

7. I love you all, and thank you from bringing me back from the edge.

8. I don't think you remember me but I remember your eyes.
[...but your one-liners, they felt recycled.]

9. You're a insecure wannabe who takes joy in putting other people down; and I hope that one day you'll find happiness. REAL happiness.

10. ... You've changed so much. I don't know you any more.

11. And it was a painful thing that brought us so close together. We were strong, but we were weak then and didn't know it and we are stronger now.

12. I don't know if you know me. I don't know if you want to.

13. Darling, you're a prime specimen of a destructive kind of laughter.

14. I know it's mean of me to feel this way about you. I can't help it, though. Easy, steady, hold your horses. You're too eager and I'm just a little bit scared of what I could do to you.

15. Remember our world? We made it up lived it out lived it up and you know it won't ever really leave you.

16. You. Are. A. Delusioned. Young. Soul.

17. I didn't really appreciate you at first. I didn't really know you at first. But now I see how wonderful you are, and how sweet the heart that's in you is; and I hope one day you will find someone who will love you for the angel you are.

18. I want to get up the guts to ask you--

19. I don't love you, but I love what you stand for.
[And I am fighting so hard for it.]

20. ...Come and find me, I've been turning so cold.

...Emo stuff, but good stuff.
I needed to get some of that off my chest.

*deep breath*

I think I need Happy Pills.

Sugar doesn't help, I've tried my Nature's Valley Apple Crisp granola bars [<3!] but they don't help, they just make me hungry for more. :D

DICTIONARY OF SIMILAR SOUNDING WORDS WHICH MIGHT (MAYBE) MAKE CARA HAPPY AGAIN:
[AND DEFINITIONS AND SENTENCES THAT DEMONSTRATE HOW TO USE THEM.]
Happy Pills = ungettable attable.
Nappy = gross. 'nuff said.
Frappy = Frappuchinos! [but too much sugar.]
Lappy = No thank you, this affliction will not be afflicted by sitting on somebody's lappy.
Cappy= No thank you, canoeists aren't supposed to eat at CAPpy.
Mappy= I'm not lost.
Zappy= Owch.

[This is pointless.]

Lately I've been feeling so hazy.
And while it hasn't quite progressed to feeling numb yet, I know I'll be getting there if this continues.
It isn't a good feeling, either. It feels as if the only thing that can help dull this is music, my tourniquet my anti-drug my addiction my angel.

[And Ash if you steal my iPod I will thwack you over the shorn mohawked head with my paddle.]

I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE.
I NEED SOMETHING TO HELP ME FEEL REAL.
I NEED MORE THAN THIS HAZE THIS MIST THIS CONSTANT BLUR OF GREY. [...maybe it's just seconddayofschool trauma from seeing a whole grey sea of NJ uniforms again.]

AAAAHH.
*dies of moody-post overdosage*
*spasms*

Oh hurry up and do the 25 Things You Want To Say thingamajig already, then at least I'll have something to read and overanalyse and amuse myself with.

<3